Suspicious

"Human beings are creatures who cannot even recognize the truth that lays before their very eyes."

I know that right now, my personality is taking a turn-around. Alice's mom called yesterday after my work, but she said she wanted to call grandmother, yet thought of my cellphone number. Well, the thing is, she usually only mistakes my home phone number. She started asking about if I was getting off my training. No, I'm not in training but working. Then, she asked when I'd started work and if I have any long break this semester. The only 'long' break is on Friday, during lunch time for about 2h30. However, it's too short on time to go downtown and go back to school after. I'll see. I really want to move it, to make this space disappear from my schedule. I have nothing to do during 2h30 of break on a Friday. Anyways, I didn't explain all this to her. She still asked me to come have lunch with her. All right.

Honestly speaking, although Dad has asked me to call Alice's mom to ask about grandmother and her, but I didn't do so and never planned to do so. I could careless. I'm very tired to take care of people who do not even care themselves. I could be careless. Why should I care?

They are the 'real' adults after all.

Then, today I met my aunt who's living upstairs at the metro station when going back home. We didn't really talk. I was on the phone.

They have to understand that I can get mad too.
My patience, my tolerance, my caring, all have been drained.

And I start to doubt about silly things. Like why did my aunt call? Why did my uncle mailed?
Excuses. We should stop giving excuses for someone's behavior. Can't live up with excuses.

Truth hits on the face and hard.

Me, being gullible is enough too. I don't want to trust people as much I as blindly as I used to. Although I can't see myself doing so... I know, I need to protect myself.

I used not to bother, believing that real friends won't purposely hurt me. I believed that we were sincere and genuine.

Building up something a new me, I'm a bit scared of the outcome...

Part of life, maturing and well...changes?

I'll be fine. Time will heal, yet a scar will remain.

At least, at work, they still complain that I laugh and smile for no reason. However, few days ago, with a nurse I like a lot, while dressing up a wound, she made sign, telling me to smile..........

Now, let's try to eat and sleep normally. How come I can only do one properly?! Ah geez.