Smile Again

"What do storm and love have in common?"
"You never know when they will hit. And if you don't seize the opportunity, you never know when it will come again. And you may be sorry afterwards."
"What if, I just can't love?"

As a result of an impulse, I called my aunt on Friday during my 3 hours of break. She wasn't there, but called back later, thinking I wanted to come over. Well, it was only to talk. It feels too weird to lose contact with someone you've been so close since very young. However, it was already too late when she called back, I was almost late for class.

I've spent about three days this week at the library and at starbucks to study... just because I can't concentrate at home and won't be efficient enough. Erh, what to do...nowhere else to go. Problem is, today came, after studying for about five hours, I wanted so much to go home and be alone. The friend I'm used to study with had to leave for work, so again, I called out someone I lost contact with for the past six years, but met out of nowhere again, and that person agreed to stay at the library. Lol, because I've gained a lot of courage, I do many things out of impulsion. Regarding this, I don't regret my action. Only, it made me realize... a bit sad, but that's just how it is.

Maybe because I'm relying too much on school, that I'm scared if the was to crumple, I'll lose my last cushion. Therefore, although the teacher and the nurse said that my training is so far so good... I don't really want to trust their words entirely, because I've met hypocrite teachers before. It would just hurt too much thinking the training is going well but end up with a low ( ~7...) (friends were mad for me) mark. Worse, it happened twice.

Hum, good work and good luck to me for the psychiatry training. Six days to go. Damn. And I have about three hours of 'travaux de stage' to do before sleeping and it's already ten o'clock.

Ah, and it's just so weird how I felt quite content yesterday, but came back home and while listening to a song, I shed tears again. Same thing for today, I was really hyper this morning, but then...And why did I dream about drowning myself after jumping in the water. What the hell?!!? Worse is that I can remember. Oh, but then, I also dreamed that I finally got a dog. LOL! Such thing won't happen.