Ten Commandements

Commandment 1.
Marriages are made in heaven. But so
again, are
thunder and lightning.

Commandment 2.
If you want your wife to listen and pay
strict attention
to every word you say; talk in your sleep.

Commandment 3.
Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at
least 100 grand!

Commandment 4.
Married life is very frustrating. In the
first year of marriage, the man speaks
and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and
the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and
the neighbors listen.

Commandment 5.
When a man opens the door of his car for
his wife, you can be sure
of one thing:
Either the car is new or the wife is.

Commandment 6.
Marriage is when a man and woman become
as one;
The trouble starts when they try to
decide which one.

Commandment 7.
Before marriage, a man will lie awake
all night thinking about
something you say.
After marriage, he will fall asleep
before you finish.

Commandment 8.
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful,
unders tanding, economical, and a good cook.
But the law allows only one wife.

Commandment 9.
Marriage and love are purely matter of
chemistry. That is why wife
treats husband like toxic waste.

Commandment 10.
A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished..