Và khi nào sẽ chấm dứt

(Holy cow!!!! I'm freaking frustrated, I've written this stupid entry for three times already and each time when I backspaced or whatever, it erased my entry!!! My pc doesn't do that *sobs* why this. I'm desperately need sleep and my butt is hurting for being sat on for like this for hours. GAAaahhhh!!! Geez, and I've completely lost the mood.)

Sometimes we wonder when will something end or when would something start. I've very curious about this myself since I can't find myself bringing an end to a part of my life to start another one.

I'm thinking, if to end something was what we really want to do, we would have done that earlier, yet we wait, and continue to wait, as if we don't have enough courage to take to put an end and choose to stagnate instead.

In life, there are things that we must do and other that we must not do. Is there really a wrong or right choice? Isn't it based on how we define it? Then, aren't what worse the rules we set ourselves for ourselves?

There are some choices that are stigmatized but for a certain reason, we still choose to continue.

I wish I had cherished more those little moments from the past only if I knew that they would be so ephermeral. People change and it's hateful to witness that. If people haven't changed, I believe that these moments would still be alive(but that's only in my dream, I know). I miss those little details back then.

Then, we're thinking maybe we don't know them that well afterall. We end up questioning ourselves about their intention to begin with...

I can't bring myself to see clearly or maybe I just don't want to. I'm waiting for an excuse... as if there aren't plenty of good excuses already.

Is life fair or not?

Yesterday, a friend called and she ended up sobbing because she's upset with her mark. She doesn't understand, nor do I, on how come she used two weeks to work on a project, but got a mark lower by 16 points than me who worked for about three days on that.

True, it's upsetting for her and I know she didn't mean to lower my self-esteem, but I've had my own share of bad luck with school.

I've tried to study and did, but for some reasons, I can't concentrate as much as I would like to. It seems like when there's 'this' part of your life that doesn't go well, 'God' would compensate for another part of your life and make it better. It's true, for the finals, I haven't studied as much...but got better mark than when I studied. Bleh. It sucks for everyone.

Somewhat, I know life is fair.

This is a proof that you don't get all the effort that you've put in. It doesn't mean that when you've given that much that you will receive as much.

But I believe that it will come back to me one day.

So?