Overdose

Overdose (Jul 21, 2008 7:15 pm)
I think that I'm having an overdose of old-experienced nurses.

In Vietnam, they look down on you for being a young little student and wouldn't listen to your suggestions to improve some bad habits without counterargumenting in such a way that you would just want to vanish in the air.

Here, they are just plain hypocrite, not forgetting to mention that they are such bitchy women. Doesn't matter if they said they appreciate your work a year ago; forget about them telling you they had missed you.

A year later, no matter if you work well or not, just a single mistake and they complain about you among their coworkers. It was her first try, she just moved to the night shift.

That friend who told me these women changed, I didn't believe her until today. They probably were always like this. I just didn't notice that they would behave differently depending on your work title. And believe me, if they didn't have a good impression of you from the start, oh how they can be mean.

I chose to go back to this department because I was familiar with everyone. But, it's no longer as fun. My itchy elbows lasted the whole time I was in Vietnam and suddently disappear when I came back to Montreal. For a reason so not unknown to me, the itchiness is coming back.

What were they thinking when they joined me with 4 different nurses to work with? I spend half on my time adapting myself to *that* nurse's way of working. The schedule in my mind would get fully messed-up. I would lose time walking back and forth in the department, unable to fully structure my work.

And I hate the fact that there's no doctor who's full time on the department (unlike the emergency rooms or intensive care unit). There, if you ever want something, you'll get it immediately. Doctors really need you there. All you have to do is, think fast and act fast, but be smart.

As a student, I could discuss directly with the doctor about my patient. At the moment, I have to talk to my nurse, who speaks to the assistant chief, who calls the doctor...Geez!! Just having Tylenol prescribed...took... well, in the end, I never got them prescribed, even though they were given. What the hell? You see, a nurse told me it was all right to give Tylenol without prescription (just, get them prescribed after). Then, the next morning, another nurse said I couldn't.

Please, get your facts straight before agreeing on teaching someone! Because, after all, I'm the one who signed the medication sheet.

In fact, I hate it when there's always someone behind checking on, no, worse, following me. It's much more difficult for you to gain self-confidence when every move you make would be judged and later discussed among themselves.

And you know why they are hypocrite? Because although complaining about you behind your back, they'd come up to you saying, 'you did a good job'.

This makes me an hypocrite too.

Glad that there're only 15 days left being supervised by them. Then, probably going on night shifts. By then, I'd so hate my mornings. That's when the elder nurses would knock you down. On the other hand, they were the ones who taught you all this while. At least, I hope, I'd be working with my friend.

Ah, how it feels blah to sleep-eat-work and again.
After reaching home, all I wanted to do is jump on my bike and get lost somewhere in the park. I miss the sun, the fresh air, the green trees and the blue beahc. Being away from people and their talk. VN is a memory in itself, but wasn't exactly the vacation I've longed since these past 3 years and more.

Work is great when you enjoy it, but it'd still never end. So. it's even better when you can take a rest once in a while. But, what can you do when yours has just begun?

I guess, a book and some music will do the trick for now.

(Barely 10pm and has to go to bed because my oh-so-nice nurse wants me to be on the unit before 7h30 to read folders. The only problem is, they are only available by 8h30. Night shifts nurses need the folders to complete their notes!!!! She probably spent too much time being an assistant nurse that she forgot. Oh-no.)

Wedding Vows

De retour au travail, je pensais que mon infirmière allait être libérée, mais non, il manque trop de personnel, alors j'ai déjà des patients. Ce n'est pas si grave en fait, vu que sur 5 lits, 1 est fermé, donc il n'en reste que trois vu qu'une des patiente s'est ramassée aux soins intensifs durant la nuit.

Bref, c'est étonnant ce qu'on peut observer chez les patients. Et, on avait devant nos yeux ce que ces mots signifient réellement: " I take you to be my (wife/husband), best friend, partner and lover. I will honor and respect our bond and love you more each day. I will trust you, laugh with you and share your tears with you. Always by your side in good times and bad, regardless of challenges we may meet. I give you my heart, my love, my hand in all our days together. "

Commençons donc cette histoire de cas. La patiente est connue pour entre autre le VIH, l'hépatite C, kératose, narcomane, schizo et un certain problème de peau qui lui donnait des boutons partout accompagnés de démangeaison généralisée. Ah...c'est alors qu'elle se rend à l'extérieur du bâtiment pour fumer et lorsqu'elle est revenue dans sa chambre, on a reçu des plaintes pour incontinence fécale sur le plancher de l'entrée avec le dessert dans sa chambre.

Suite à la réprimande par l'assiante inf. chef, elle s'est agitée et voulait signer un refus de traitement. J'avais à peine eu le temps de lui administrer ses médicaments qu'elle voulait redescendre en bas pour fumer; moi, me disant qu'elle ne remontera pas. À ma surprise, son copain a réussi à la convaincre de rester.

C'est alors que son cher ami vient me dire que si on est pour la chicaner, qu'on le chicane lui.

Durant toute la journée, j'avais des crèmes à lui appliquer sur TOUT le corps, mais elle n'est jamais présente dans sa chambre! Finalement, 15 min avant de partir, on a montré à son copain comment mettre la crème sur elle. Je lui ai donc offert une pair de gants (j'aime pas trop ça beurrer le monde inconnu sans gants) et il me répond, " ça fait déjà 2 ans et demi, si je suis pour être contaminé, je le suis déjà ".

Il passe son temps à l'accompagner à ses vocations de fumer, à lui acheter de la nourriture en extra, à la laver, à la réconforter...vraiment, pour toute cette misère, wow.

C'est impressonnant comment ces gens peuvent voir cette étincelle de bonheur malgré le fait qu'ils savent qu'aucun futur n'existe au fond.

Insomnia or Jet Lag

And...so it's the end of my trip to my origin country and have yet to see Saigon. But it's all right, for I came back to a place I am so used to be. The air feels so fresh here and places seem so clean.

The last plane I took arrived at 16h45 at Montreal, but I only got out of the airport after six pm. The long flight going back home wasn't as bad as the one going to Vietnam even though I didn't get to sleep that much. Then, I rushed out to go on the bridge to meet my friends and watch the fireworks with them. Ah, missed them so bad. So happy to see them... spent great time being together again.

By now, I still have some friends to see, but at least, I've talked to them on the phone a bit.

I am so disoriented in time...sleeping around four am until 3pm (because a friend woke me up!!)...then still cannot fall asleep now that is already past 3am. I have to go to work in about 5 hours, bouhhouuu.

In Vietnam, I had insomnia...turning and turning, yet cannot find a comfortable position, missing something soft to hug (my lil dog), so when I got an extra pillow it became my teddy bear. Anyways, the bed was really hard for the back. Two weeks would have been all right, but six it gets terrible.

Wonder how long would the jetlag lasts...suppose it's one hour per day, it would take us about twelve days to recover.

Will get back to the pictures soon.

Now... am I starting to miss Vietnam? The people I lived with. Will I ever get the see them again?