Frustration Pilled Under Books

It's Dec 10th 08. I'm finally updating my blog with old entries with what happened at the end of November. Very childish. Very "it's all about the same story" and that's the reason for not posting these up earlier and not creating a new entry for each of them. But after all, why not? Because that's how I felt on that specific day.

08-11-19
I was having dinner with my friend and her never-going-to-be boyfriend, when I received a phone call from Monika asking where we are. Oukay, as brainless as I can be, I didn't remember I was supposed to be anywhere with them. She said that there's a Korean food dinner with Jade. 'Huh?' Monika seemed perplex but probably not as much I was when she asked if I got an sms from Jade asking to eat out. Hell no, I didn't.

Then, my memory told Monika that Jade mentioned it on the private messages on Facebook, but Chi, Nancy, and I said that we weren't going to join them. Monika, being unhappy, said with a sarcastic tone, "Merci de me l'avoir avertie." Stop it, right here.

After exchanging few words, I called Nancy asking her about the sms, that Jade sent out at the beginning of the week. I don't care about not attending, because I know I didn't want to be there. Hey...

1_I wasn't invited.
2_How can I tell you nobody was going?
3_Wasn't it fun for you girls to find out I wasn't invited? Therefore, cut me some slacks and get back to the hostess, which I guess, Monika didn't.

08-11-21
I went to watch Twilight with Nancy and Monika. It's from a book I started reading last winter, but I didn't finish it. I like fiction, but that one is a real mushy one. Apparently, Nancy only started reading it two weeks or so, prior to the release of the movie and Monika will read it. That is, there are four books to this collection.

I know someone missed me, but I'm also aware that someone chose to replace me (Not someone...but they.) And that I'm guilty of the same crime. I used to have a friend to talk to every day. Right now, I still have a dear friend to talk to every day, but you know...they aren't the same person.

08-11-24
I have sudden insomnia without caffeine, but probably an extra shot of adrenaline. My brain is speeding and I can't stop it. My body managed to function even with less than 4 hours of sleep. The moment I found myself enjoying a real night, I realized it was already past 'the next' midnight.

For a matter of fact, I didn't receive any further explication of those emails. I don't know what girls' talk happened between them and I can't move on. I haven't.

Nancy knows. All this time, she was the friend who was always there. She knew everything. She was also there when Jade wrote whatever to them. Nevertheless, she didn't explain anything to me, even if, it's all about me.

Chi is probably the first person who'd notice I'm not me and to ask about it. Doesn't matter if the last time I saw her was six months ago and whatever the circumstance is. She's the other person who also received the email. Am I too much to be expecting her to talk to me about it? I so wanted to head over her house when I first learned about it, but I didn't. Nothing related to that was ever discussed.

Jade should know better. When we were catfighting and I confronted her, by asking if she has ever told something to A and asked A to keep it as a secret from B-C-D, and she gave me a firm "no", I smirked. A year ago, she wrote me an email, complaining about our meany attitude towards her. She asked me to keep it for myself. And I did. But, I still have the email.

I guess, that was too much to ask for. Actually, I didn't ask for anything, but only silently expecting it. And got nothing.

08-11-25
Unhappy to learn that I'll be working on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, and New Year Eve. They asked us to choose between Christmas and New Year and I chose to work on Christmas. They can't do this. Seriously, even though I don't celebrate, it's mean! >.< style="font-weight: bold;">

08-11-27
I know I'm being very unforgiven here and that it's just not my usual self, but I can't help it. But then, I don't know why I'm acting like this! Urgh. As if, I don't want to put any effort into it. Or maybe enough is enough?

You know, when you want someone to move on, you have to give them time to go through the process of mourning. I can give them time when they need it, can't they just do the same? I'm not ready. Circumstances make it impossible to shut myself out completely, but hey, we aren't friendly-friendly again, all right? Which means, I stopped sharing my personal life since months ago and plan on keeping doing so.

It's 21:10. Upset because she's been waiting for Grey's Anatomy to show up on TV. Very very mad because she's been waiting even if she's very very sleepy with an accumulation of sleep deprived. Urgh.

08-11-28
When I finally opened my eyes, it was 12:10! Ouh lah lah, it's so not me to oversleep like this. I remember going to sleep with a terrible headache and that, before midnight, guess I was tired. Now, I've just spent over one hour dealing with the medical insurances. Damn them, can't they just deal with it without having me calling them asking bunch of questions for them to pay me back accordingly? Yes, even if it's only a refund of 15$! But say 15$ x 12 months!

It's pass 15:00 and I haven't done any studies yet. My brain will develop a tumor soon from talking too much on the cellphone. Recently, its batteries have to be charged everyday.

Ouh, I found my ulnar artery!!! What isn't fun in medecine, huh? Poop.

Hum..I love soup, hot soup in cold winter, miam. Love my long hair. Want them to be longer though, 5 cm more maybe? And then I can trim them out in order to have them healthier.

Ok here, this brainless girl is trying to bring her understanding of acid/base imbalance to a upper level, the university kind, so that she can explain it to nursing students that will come destroy her mood any time but not soon, oh...so confusing baby!!!!

08/11/29
Attendance for N & M's Bday: yes.
Overdressed: Yes. (only for the majority)
Prior to work: Yes. (with only 2 patients on hand because I had 4 empty beds, lol!)
Gifts: They seemed happy about them and for the first time in history, I didn't have to do the shopping.
Left early: Yes. (I have to work early tomorrow.)