Lesson #1 : Letting Go

You have probably heard this saying :

If you love someone, let them go….
If they come back to you, they're yours
If they don't, it was never meant to be.
Pessimist:
If you love someone,
Set him free...
If he ever comes back, he's yours,
If he doesn't, as expected, he never was.

Shakespeare:
If you love someone,
Set him free...
If he ever comes back, he's yours,
If he doesn't, here's the poison, suicide
yourself for him.

Bill Gates:
If you love someone,Set them free,
If they come back, I think we can charge them for re-installation fees
but tell them that they’re also going to get an upgrade.

Actuary:
If you love someone, Set them free,
If they love you, the probability of them coming back is high
If they don’t, the distribution and your relation was improbable anyway.

Optimist:
If you love someone,
Set him free...
Don't worry, he will come back.

Suspicious:
If you love someone,
Set him free...
If he ever comes back, ask him why.

Impatient:
If you love someone,
Set him free...
If he doesn't comes back within some time
forget him.

Patient:
If you love someone,
Set him free...
If he doesn't come back,
Continue to wait until he comes back...

Playful:
If you love someone,
Set him free...
*If he comes back, and if you love him
still,
Set him free again,
repeat*


Animal-Rights Activist:
If you love someone,
Set him free,
In fact, all living creatures deserve to be
free!!

Lawyers:
If you love someone,
Set him free,
Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1 in the second
amendment of the Matrimonial Freedom
Act clearly states that....

Biologist:
If you love someone,
Set him free,
he'll evolve.

Schwarzenegger's fans:
If you love someone,
Set him free,
HE'LL BE BACK!

Buddhist:
If you love someone, show them the way.
When they come back, they will have no memory of you what-so-ever.

Realist: If you love someone
WHY SET THEM FREE IN THE FIRST PLACE???????

Salesman:
If you love someone,
Set him free...
If he ever comes back, deal!
If he doesn't, so what! "NEXT".

Insurance agent:
If you love someone,
Show him the plan...
If he ever comes back, sign him up,
If he doesn't, keep follow up with him and
never give up!

Physics expert:
If you love someone,
Set him free...
If he ever comes back, it's the law of gravity,
If he doesn't, either there's friction higher
than the force or the angle of collision between two
objects did not synchronize at the right angle.

Mathematician:
If you love someone,
Set him free...
If he ever comes back, 1 + 1 = 2 (peanut!),
If he doesn't, Y = 2X - log(0.46Y^2 + (cos
(52/34X)) x 5Y^(-0.5)c) where c is the
infinite constant of no turning point.

Nowadays' style:
If You Love Someone,
Set him free,
If he Comes Back, he is Yours
If he Doesn't, Hunt Down and Kill him...!!!
Or perhaps report to immigration
That she/he is an illegal immigrant...

_____________


I'm forfeiting.
Yes, on one of my entry few months earlier, I did say I don't want to give up. Now, I'm giving up on trying. I used to think I had reasons, or at least one, to complete my degree within 2 years, but it was all in my head. Maybe the reasons are still there, but I can't see them anymore, or maybe they are just not worth it anymore. Along the way, I got convinced by others...that I still have lot and lot of time left...Well, do I really?

Result #1: Failed
The person who's responsible of the nursing program refused my demand to switch part-time. She wants me to wait...Wait for what? Until I hit the wall so hard that I wouldn't be able to turn back anymore? Yes, I've tried that before...To go so far that beside hurting, I'm left empty-handed...with no solution left...but to step even closer to the edge.

I'm known to not be efficient at juggling both work and school. My marks had always drop bad until I quit the job, regardless of my almost zero social life. Up to this point, I cannot not work, unless I resign from the hospital... I said that before. It's not because you've put *that* amount of effort, that you'd get what you wish for. I'm like a little white ball on this casino table that keeps on spinning, waiting for luck to land somewhere. Now, it's tired to spin. If it was just work and school, it would have been much easier to deal with.

I didn't prepare anything with anyone for my birthday because I wasn't in the mood for. Not having enough time is true, but that's mostly an excuse. Last year turned out pretty bad. Therefore, I didn't want to try harder once again; not when I don't want to try anything. You might think I gave up too quickly, don't you? It's not the first time that birthdays dinners turn out to be a flop. Someone who knows me long enough had to comfort me when I was ten, crying out of disappointment, over a messed up party. History had repeated itself over and over again, and I learned to erase them from my memories. It's not just a matter of friends. Do you really think family remembered? The family members I grew up with, I did not hear a word from them (except for the aunt I live with). I got friends who used to ask, "What? You don't get anything for New Year? Nothing on your birthday from your parents?" "Nop...too bad, so what?" It's not the material result, sometimes...a person just wishes for a 'Happy Birthday'. (Yeah ok, like it matters, huh?) It tells that you remembered, that you care enough, because she can just forget.

Birth days...are just like any other day. They can sucks as bad as yesterday or be a gift just like tomorrow.

I don't know if I'm sorry for asking my friends to cancel the reservation at a restaurant they made for me. I guess I am. On the other hand, I've told them weeks and days prior that I don't know what I want to do with the 23rd of April...because, it was far from being any of my concerns. Also, I couldn't drag my body around trying to relax when I haven't had 6h of sleep right after a 3h exam. It's possible I've even become socially retarded. Nowadays, probably from fatigue, I strike back! If you're mean to me, I can also be mean to you. o.O Wait, that's not me, right? Over the past 3 weeks, I have successfully (otherwise, I won't be hear writing this crap) crossed the street 3 times on a red light thinking it's green! My cousin is right, I don't do much beside work and school. And when I'm in this grey-dark mood like this, I like to seclude myself away from people that force me to 'talk'. I'd instinctively choose to be with only certain people I know, I can sit beside for hours...through silence. That way, it's easier for me to focus...

It comes to a point where are some cues you cannot keep on ignoring. They tell you, it's time. I had tried...tried for a very long period of time, more than I probably should have...I'm clueless. Tell me how can I try harder... because I still wish I don't have to do this. Only sometimes, there's nothing else you can do, but to make the choice of letting go.

_____________


All of this may sounds dark, but it's not that dark. Two particular stories I want to share, which are not mine.

Triangle Between Two
First of all, there's this girl my family and I know. Her mother has always been very strict. The mother forbids her from everything life can give. Along the course of her young life, she met a guy on the internet. The guy met this girl, who wasn't her. Why? She sent him a picture of her, that did not reflect her. She's asian, but gave him a blue eyes/blond hair girl picture. She literally created a character...maybe because she was not confident enough in herself, maybe she thought it would only be a game.

Who knew that the guy would fall for this girl so hard that he moved from France to Montreal..., leaving behind everything he possesed, with the only purpose to be with her. In Montreal, the girl whom this guy imagined as his love of his life was nowhere to be found. She apparently went to a student exchange and introduced her bestfriend to him...which was the real girl herself. Events escalading themselves, while her feelings were developping into strong affection, he was missing his never-met-lover. They got intertwined into a triangle relationship where there are only two people. He threatenen to end his life. He wrote unbelievable emails. He left his hometown for her...for nothing, but he also left his hometown to find peace. A person doesn't only have one problem. Family relationship wasn't doing fine over there. To escape from the mess she had created, the girl chose to go on an exchange student in Germany this summer...is it really to fly away or to be with him? In the end, he'd have to move back to his country.

Triangle Between Sisters
One day, the guy announced that he's getting hitched. With who you would ask? With the sister of his son's mother, who's also pregnant with his own baby. Many years ago, the elder sister and this man created a life together, only to leave this child hanging between two parents who no longer talk to each other. Is society supposed to condemn this kind act or just let it be? How the hell did the younger sister had sexual relationship with the father of her nephew and end up pregnant? Had sex really lost its reasons to be and became so easy? Is sex only an impulse? What do both families think of this almost incest story? What will happen to the innocent children?

Those are real life stories I've recently heard of. After reading this, you'd probably think our lives are not that bad after all, right? Oh well, that way of thinking, it will only last the time you're still on my random blabbering blog. Hee~

Be indulgent with your significant other!