That day, I've decided to start my treatment that so many people are against of. Myself, I do not think that I absolutely need it, but if that's what it takes to finally put an end to it, I'm willing to take the risk. Little did I know...
Two days later, I've had my first nose bleed. It was expected among other sides effects, but I did not think they'd come so soon. I figured, maybe the dosage is too high for my metabolism so I took the initiative to take it every other day (without advising the doc, but the pharmacist is okay with it...whatever, nurses are known to be the hardest to treat, since we don't follow instructions). My eyes are also drier than usual, that being said, I normally already lack natural tears. Honestly, it feels as if I'm undergoing a cancer treatment course with all the side effects. I also have to take appointment with the doc every month to make sure I'm not under depression... ok, that just sounds very psychotic! But, I'd be okay.
Also, on that day, my parents whom are under an asian panic attack (that I do not want to elaborate), decided to transfer the car under my name. Instead of keeping the SUV (cousin, I decided to get a new car for the same price. Finally, it is our car and no more rent! I lost 4 evenings at Honda, time I could have used to study because of this issue. Parents are not doing so well, but keep it to themselves...I had to play the little mediator and share both point of views so that they can understand what's going on better. Isn't it amazing how communication sucks between human beings?
L'immatriculation est à mon nom...4 lettres 2 chiffres : 04 (j'ai même pas demandé)
I was not born to save people. I don't favor saving people who don't save themselves. On the top of everything, I want to save myself first. Right now, I'm exhausted. There is this much I can take. Yes I have undergone four years of psychology and sometimes. Some things can be more obvious to my eyes than to others, but it does not mean I'd want to tell, because it does not guarantee you'll listen or because I no longer care enough. Instead, if you'd rather choose to live in denial, fine by me.
Coming up to me for help, people do that easily. Regardless of when was the last time we talked and regardless of if we are friends, suddenly, I've become so in demand because of this girl I know you like, yet you can't admit it...all right. But at least, be decent enough to admit that you need me as a third-wheel when I directly ask you if that's the case. Yo, do I still seem so innocent to people's eyes?
Well hey...no, I can't feel her as my friend...even when she asks me to listen to her and give advices. Yeah, she sounded pitiful, but I'm not very sympathetic, I don't give my pity easily to anyone...so once you have it, it becomes very dangerous for me. Anyways, listening to her was like listening to a patient (but free)...why? 'Cuz I don't personally care.
I chose to become like this, because there is this much I can take and do. I'm saturated and can't no longer save anyone, barely myself.
Oh and I think I hate April. It's my month of trouble.
Always been always will,
truly yours.
Always been always will,
truly yours.
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