Le Petit Prince

Depuis hier, j'ai commencé à relire Le Petit Prince. C'est pourtant un si petit livre, que je trouvais si long et pénible à lire quand je n'avais que sept ans. À ce moment, je ne compris pas grand chose. Durant l'adolescence, je l'ai relu pour la deuxième fois. Sans trop m'en souvenir de qu'est-ce que j'ai pu cette fois là comprendre...mais je sais que j'avais appris. Cet alors que maintenant, j'ai repris le livre entre mes mains...

08/02/27

Il est vrai que les grandes personnes ont tendance à poser des questions concernant des chiffres....comme quand tu socialises avec une nouvelle personne, les parents vont demander son âge, son salaire, combien il pèse, combien il mesure...combien. Tout cela en pensant le connaître...mais si on leur demande qui est cette personne, en réalité, pourront-ils répondre par les intérêts de la personne?

Sur la planète du Petit Prince, il semblerait qu'il y a des mauvaises herbes et des bonnes herbes qui poussent...Tout comme il semblerait avoir des mauvais enfants et des bons enfants. Bref, que le monde est soit blanc ou noir et que quand c'est noir, il faut l'arracher...sans trop se poser de question...sans le laisser continuer à se développer avant de juger.

Vì em mệt lắm...

"Have you ever smiled because of me?"

Since yesterday, I've at least slept for 14 hours and wept for 2 hours straight. My body is exhausted and so is my mind...Fortunately, it feels somewhat better after. As I watched several parts of different series, I heard sound of my tears on the desk. Did I know that little, just like before, it's once again easy to cry. Because I'm getting back slowly...it has become like before. Series are just excuse...only motives. They are as useful as mirrors.

I've been very irritable since the past two weeks. The bad mood of mine has started to build up since I debuted my training this semester...as it goes higher, my patience would drift way.

I'm actually tired to take care of people. Doesn't matter if it's of people I'm close with or my patients; doesn't matter if it's out of love or out of duty...I'm tired.

My mood has gotten worse this weekend and at the moment, I'm trying to seclude myself from the world as much as possible...so that it won't affect people around me too much. I can't hide from my work and I can't even less not care for people I love.

It has always been something that I've done...to care I mean.

However, a friend is right when she says that there's limit...that's it's way too much to ask when friend's boyfriend come to seek advice or help from me. I was awared that it's too much. Indirectly or not, I've explained the circumstances...but in the end, I still worried and cared. Maybe not how they expected me to, but with my own ways.

I don't have any trouble to cut ties when I'm out of work from my patients' lives. It's harder to do so with friends. Once again, that friend of mine is right, when she says I shouldn't impose myself so much in the world's problems...because it would never end. I...I know my courage can bring me to push far. But indifference can overwhelm me too. I can get enough to push...that when the person who doesn't even bother, then it'd be a too bad instead of...

I'm probably the kind of person who give many opportunities.
But because I'm tired, things have to stop right there. When the train has passed, it won't come back again.

Sometimes it's a problem due to balance. The give and take theory.
I don't want to have to ask to keep things like how it was.
I don't want to ask for someone to take initiative.
My courage'd go to drain if I have to step forwards...too much.

But something won't change though, not yet.
And that's what nobody can see but feel.

Often, I wish time'd go faster.
Just so that I can grow older.
Be wise enough to live independantly from parents
Just so that I won't have to:
- Answer questions like when where what who every time I'm out of house.
- Do what I actually don't have the right to do legally. (see the irony?)
- Do what I want to when I'd want to.
- Fall without having parents thinking they'd catch me underneath.
- Hear advices that I don't listen to.
- Get a little friend (bigger and friendlier than my fishy--> it's still lovely)
- Do a bit of socializing with them.
- Put on a scary/mad face when I see them.

Aren't birds very free?
Isn't being carefree a great feeling?

Isn't it funny how we always feel that life's unfair to us..but seems to be only us?
Like...why is it okay for others to say no, but when I do so...I'd get blasted at?
why is it okay for others to ask for a service, but when I do so...I'd get a 'I-don't-feel-like-doing-it'?

But then, it's completely useless to complain...because some people'd say, it was your choice to do it even though you wasn't very willing to.

Right, I did it out of choice...out of care...out of love.

It isn't altruism...because I'm actually expecting something in return.
It doesn't have to be completely equal...but some basics manners sometimes can be enough...just a 'please and thank you', which is respect. People know what it is, since they made use of it before. What's hard is to keep the manner right? But if I can...you can to.

I do see that people are pissed of and exhausted to. That can lead to having less patience and bad mood...but it doesn't excuse them from being irrespectful and uncaring.

Sometimes, I won't say anything...and just keep it down. Not because It's not worth it...but because I feel, I actually don't have any right...when I wished I had though. But, it's not up to me to give it to myself. So...I've to refrain myself from doing or saying some things. (it's soon 1am...so bed time)

Passion

Passion is more than mere love. It is L’amour. It’s fine wine and candlelight and long walks on an empty beach. Passion is when fate lights a fire beneath two people and steps back to watch the show. This is the time when many couples find their Passion so intense, after a few months they burn themselves out and the only release is to key nasty sentiments into their former paramour’s Lexus. A lucky few however capture the essence of their Passion, harness it and move on to a new plateau.

Welcome to Friendship, one of love’s most blessed stages. Friendship is what carries two people through the valleys that surround the peaks of passion. Friendship praises the fluorescent pink sweater with bright blue daisies, because it’s a gift that was bought from the heart. And Friendship will look directly at that strange pimple with the hair growing out of it and still believe you are the most attractive person on the planet.

With the bonds of friendship as the foundation, you can now build the perfect dream home. Move on in to the last stage of love - Commitment. Commitment understands that it’s ok to spend time apart, because you trust each other enough to be home for dinner. Commitment will help you put in ear drops, de-worm the dog and still be waiting with a kiss when you get home from work. Commitment is patient and kind and despite life’s challenges, will remain standing by your side until death do you part.

It takes a lot of work to run the marathon of love and many couples decide to call it quits and just take the subway. If however you finish the race, the grand prize is a lifetime of happiness.

Which Star Are You From?

Even though i raise my two hands to hide the heavens
As though nothing can be kept hidden
My loving heart can't hidden either; i love you
Afraid of goodbye that's behind love
I'm terrified; I'm never letting you go
I'll never make you regret my love for you

Why is life so hard
i didn't know she would die
didn't know that i'd meet you
i didn't know i'd come after you
and didn't know i would run.
so i can only do one thing : run
i can only run and run.

The hidden sky's dark and
even though the road in front of us may be blocked, it's okay.
My love's strength will shine for you. Don't worry,
because I love you, love you so much
Until my breath stops
I won't forget you even until I'm at the end of this world
because i dream of you, dream of you so much
although the fate may catch me
it won't take away my love
because you are my reason for living

I will take care of your past hurt
now find your happiness
when your walk becomes heavy
until you stop i will help you

If In Love Like Them

(ahhhhhhhhhh goooo to helll!!!! NOT AGAIN!!! It has erased my post!!!!)

Let's be more straight-foward because I seriously want to go sleep. So, instead of writing my notes for school, I spent my time fast-fowarding a mini-series called 'If In Love Like Them'. I've been boycotting tear-jerking drama for a good while now. I just hate how Korean drama has a disease as one of their focus point. In here, the main guy has a brain tumor that doctor cannot perform surgery on. The girl has leukemia... as if it was the only girlish disease existing on Earth. It hasn't exactly made me shed tear, only to reflect about what I wrote yesterday.

The couple thought that they'd die together, but in the end, only the guy did. He left before her as the they found a bone marrow for her. It's painful for the one remaining alive.

Then I thought, it's not that I don't value life. Only, I haven't found a reason to hang on if something bad was to happen to my health. There're people who are scared of death and other people who hate pain. I'm probably among people who are afraid to suffer.

What's a good reason to go on? Probably not myself. I know it's just weird. I know it's weird that as being a human being I don't have the will to hang on.

But take for instance a soon mother-to-be. She has been pregnant for almost 30 weeks and she learns that she has cancer in her tummy. The doctor says that the surgery must be done in order to save the mom but to do so, she must end her pregnancy. If I were the mother, and probably just like any other, we'd disagree to surgery and try to prolong the pregnancy so that the baby can be born healthy. This is a good reason...because you suddently feel responsible for a life.

As human being, we have the right do whatever we want with our own life, but when there's someone important in our life, suddently, we become more careful about what we do...as in, driving more carefully, taking care of our health during winter so not to get sick...but also not to make that person worried. That can also be a reason... but it's no longer a reason when the other person doesn't care. Once again, I know it's pretty weird and these kind of person seems to not have something called self-loving. Bleh.

Do I know what that is to begin with? Lol.

I guess I was feeling melancholic at the moment...probably PMS'ing. Yeah, I'm actually PMS'ing now.. and it does quite get on my nerves, but I'm conscious about it but don't really control it when I'm around my family...Geez me.

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The training has started off better this week... we're less nervous... we're doing better or at least I am. Okay, I admit, I'm used to have fun with the people I work with and I'm used to have experimenced people complimenting my work...which couldn't be possible last week, haha. But today, I was about to blush when the nurse said, 'you're doing very well' in front of my teacher. It's embarassing because I know it's not true. I still need more practice with I/V. Others are probably doing better. My group is very strong but at least, we're helping each other out and it doesn't have tension like my last semester, thank you God.

Ah, and so I wish the training would be over soon...already.

I've applied into McGill for University but I probably won't be admitted in...because they raised their standard and it's freaking expensive...parents won't really contribute so..
Then, there's UdeM...I don't like the way they teach but at least I'm used to hospitals that they work with.
In the end, there's UdeS in Longueuil, however, it's affliated to *one* hospital. Damn. Plus, I heard that they don't take students from MTL...You have to live close to there. Hull has the same rule.

There're problems with all of the three schools.

There's something weird about me this semester too. I spent the last semester in coffee shops to study...but right now, it seems impossible. I need to be in a house, mine or friend's...but I can't stand coffee shop anymore. I wonder if libraries can still do the trick.

Fairytales

Do not repeat chapters, for the ending of the story never changes."

Nah, I haven't watched any fairtales stories recently...but life itself can be one, though the ending might not be like in fairytales.

There's up and down and sometimes, you feel strenghtless, although you had tons of courage...there's time you need to stop running, breath, and think for a moment about what you have done.

There's a friend who wrote, "loving someone deeply gives you courage". If it's really what gives people courage, does it mean when you don't love someone deeply...you don't have courage? And if for once, you had that much of courage, would the courage stays with you, be with you in every relationship you'd have? No...no right? It depends on... who's pursuing, who's giving more...who's loving more...

But we can't live only with courage... courage...there's an end to everything.
Although it can't be seen yet...but... nothing actually lasts right?

A sweet beginning, an unforgettable relationship, when things turn sour, it still has to come to an end. When asking why...we don't really know the reason. Maybe that's what beautiful about it, because we know it would end, we will try our best to bring good memories out of it.

That's why I feel it's ridiculous for couples to promise each other eternity.
And that's when the saying of " What matters isn't the lengh of life, but its value. "
And, maybe that's why if I were to learn that I have cancer, I doubt I'd undergo therapies.

I've asked the question to some friends if they would accept the appropriate therapies against cancer, although knowing that therapies won't guarantee complete healing, most answered why not? Fight for life...

I guess I'm just chicken. It's somewhat harder for people in health to accept that they are sick...

But I don't want to. Somehow, you just don't want to die in a hospital, without hair and all weak due to medication...and being dependant on people. I don't want to.

Why not using that short time you have left to do accomplish what you haven't accomplished yet.

Yeah, some would say, if undergoing therapies would give you a lifetime...by then, you'd have much more time to accomplish these things.

But if things that I can do within a lifetime can be done within a year, giving me a lifetime would only mean more time to waste.

Haven't we wasted enough time like this?

Because we take for granted that we have more time ahead of us...

Am I right?

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A funny quote to share : Husband and wife are like a pair of scissors. joint together often moving in opposite directions yet punishing whoever comes between them.

People These Days

and I laughed my head off...can't be right?

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the T.V. Remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. And change the channel manually.

3. When people say 'Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too'... Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say 'it's always the last place you look'... Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it?

5. When people say while watching a film 'did you see that?'... No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.

6. People who ask 'Can I ask you a question?'.... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

8. When people say 'life is short'. What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks 'Has the bus come yet?'. If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?
ving in opposite directions yet punishing whoever comes between them.

Who Am I?

"Not everybody who don't wear pants, is perverted."
-Winnie D' Pooh

"Did you know that all i ever wanted was to get close to you?, but still you shooed me away."
-Cockroach

"Go ahead! I know you only want my body!"
-Shrimp

"Not everything that's green is nutritious."
-Plem

"I'm sick and tired of being passed back and forth!"
-Basketball

"I did everything to make you happy, is it that hard to stay with one? Why do you keep on changing?"
-TV

"You can't donate every blood that's in you."
-Period

"I know that in your eyes you see me happy. But why is it like that?! Everytime you people can't say anything else you use me?! Why do you always use me?! I'm tired of smiling!"
-Smiley face


The Drunk

There was a drunk guy who passed by a fat woman and her dog.
Drunk: Hey where'd you get the pig?!
Woman: It's a dog, not a pig you idiot!
Drunk: Stop bothering! I was asking the dog!

Animal

Wife: Hon, who's Trixie?
Husband: Oh that's my horse that I betted?/gambled on.
Wife: Oh really?! Ok you bastard go and answer the phone, your horse is calling!!!!!

Anniversary

Wife: Honey on our 20th anniversary what will your present be?
Husband: I'll take you to Africa.
Wife: Awwe that's sweet! How about on our 50th anniversary?
Husband: I'll pick you up and take you home.